To err is human, to forgive is Divine.

This article is dedicated to all my loved ones who were ever hurt by my words or deeds. Especially, the ones from whom I am yet to earn my pardon.

To err is human, to forgive is Divine.

Believe or not, but this phrase is an eternal truth. I may sound like a preacher, but it won’t affect either the truthfulness or the eternity of it. Not even one bit! So the best thing for you to do is to read on intently, rather than being cynical about it.

Before I commence on the near impossible task of convincing the reader about how important and beneficial it is to follow the policy of forgiveness, I must make it clear that the term “forgiveness” implies different things to different people. Some believe in forgiving the mistakes of their fellow beings; once, twice…maybe thrice, and then no more. Others can do so innumerable times, without getting frustrated even once. There are a few who would not mind even blunders made by others which directly affect them. Again the tolerance level of most of them is lower than the precious few who are large hearted enough to allow any number of bloopers. And finally, there are those “rarest of the rare” divine souls who are gracious enough to forgive anyone for any kind of sufferings inflicted on them by the culprit. In other words, they have the courage and an almost inhuman quality, which enables them, somehow, almost miraculously, to forgive even heinous crimes.

This kind of ability is born out of years of sustained exposure to goodness in life, meaningful and sincere prayers, and finally out of a brilliant flash of divine light within the “giver”, the forgiver, at the time of reckoning when the he is called on by the soul to decide whether to punish or to pardon the guilty. Most of the times, when the decision to pardon is made, it eventually turns out that it was the only time such a brave decision was required. On all subsequent occasions when such an “opportunity” arises, the giver requires neither a strong mental or emotional effort, nor does he realise the greatness of his decision to forgive. It becomes as insignificant as other routine matters. Or rather, the individual is raised to such a level of spiritual greatness, that at that height all big deeds are easily attainable.

No one, not even God, I dare say, can forgive wrongdoing infinitely. But He can do so for a sufficiently long time, which can be considered as a billion times ahead of the human capacity. The purpose of explaining all this is to enable the reader to identify his/her level of tolerance.

So to begin with the convincing part, let us all first be honest with ourselves. Totally, completely and cent percent. It is the only way in which “we” can ask the right questions to “ourselves” and “ourselves” can give “us” the right answers. Frankly speaking, I cannot convince diabolical souls. Those who are not even honest with themselves, can hardly be expected to accept, to themselves, as well as to others, that they have in fact been convinced!

I urge you to be honest to yourself and ask yourself just a few questions. “Have I ever made a mistake?” “Have I ever erred in carrying out my basic duties?” “Have I ever hurt the feelings of a loved one? However unknowingly it may have occurred, but did I ever…?”. The answer in most cases would be an emphatic “YES”.

Moving on, you would realise how bad it feels to have erred. Remember the feeling you got when you realised your last mistake. Remember the frustration that crept over. And the sense of guilt that followed. But never ever did you care to apologize. Not even once. You took the other person for granted and never trusted him to forgive you.

Over the passage of time you have silenced your scruples and have hidden the guilt the deepest and the darkest corner of your heart. But you still carry the burden of it! And surely somewhere inside, it still hurts. When the thought is refreshed, when the wound is re-opened, when the moment is relived, you surely feel the excruciating pain of a hundred kilos of iron mounted on your back; crushing your spine! You want to get it off, don’t you? But you can’t. And you never will, unless you apologize. This is the state of the mind of an honest person feeling guilt. Unless you utter the five-letter word called “SORRY” to the person who was hurt by what you said or did; unless you cleanse yourself by doing so, you will never be redeemed.

The other person who deserves the apology from you may be your friend, a family member, a teacher, neighbour, your boss, colleague, employee, or he may even be a complete stranger. He may be anyone but that would not make him less deserving in any way. The fact that he did not reprimand you, in no way implies that he was not pained by your misdeeds. And if he had indeed expressed his displeasure to you, and I’m sure if you had blurted out a “sorry” as a reflex action, that would have been the end of the matter. The question of carrying the guilt around arises only if he had let you off the hook and you took advantage of it.

So if he has been gracious enough to realise your fault and yet ignore it, why can’t you come down a few steps from the podium of your ego, bend a little and apologize? All you have to do is to walk up to that person and say a sincere “sorry”. Believe me it is as simple as that, and nowhere close to being “the hardest word” as Sir Elton John once sang. It would not only relieve you of your burden of guilt, but would also go a long way in enhancing you image as a human being in the eyes of the other person.

It may seem to the reader from the above discussion, that we’ve lost track of the real issue i.e. giving pardon and its divinity rather than pleading for it. But be rest assured that the discussion was not at all a waste of time. It was only to make you understand the other side of it.

I’m sure you would agree that taking an objective view and given a choice, you would choose to be in the position of the “giver”, the forgiver, rather than the one who begs pardon.

So let us juxtapose your position from the “taker” to the “giver”. Immediately a sense of relief blows over you. Do you know why? It is because the giver is in a higher relative position. He gives the pardon and the other takes it. If you were the giver, your “hand” would be above that of the taker. The taker begs for the pardon. You do not give it, you donate it! Hence you are akin to a donor and he is equivalent to a beggar. Just visualise yourself placing alms in the hands of a beggar and imagine the sense of achievement you feel when you do so!

Feel yourself as being the one who relieves the beggar by unloading the hundred kilos of iron he is carrying on his back! Remember? You almost give him a new lease of life by doing so. And I am sure you know, Who alone in this Universe has the power to give a new life. Yes, it’s the Great Lord Himself. And for once, you get to do something similar to what He usually does.

The Lord gives life and humans take it. You give pardon and the other is obliged. Hence, you’re the “giver” and he’s the “taker”. And that’s why, it’s human to err, but divinity lies in forgiveness. It is up to you to raise your level of tolerance and make yourself nearer to the Divine.

Just for you,

Direct dil se…

Too few words,

So much to say.

All is so wrong,

Maybe I forgot to pray.

Why am I so ugly?

Why are all shades grey?

Just tried to show my true self,

But it ended in dismay.

“SORRY”…my heart is cryin’ out,

Every night & each day.

“Will I ever get my redemption?”

…is what it begs to pray.

Your stone-dead silence is killing me;

At least say, ”It’s OK”!!!

Say it surely, but mean it too.

And take me back, as if…

I’d gone just a li’l astray.

By - Dhawal Chotai.